Hawaii is an awesome vacation destination, but there’s no such thing as paradise. In my inaugural letter to my son, I break down whether he should move to Oahu.
Dear Kid,
First off, I’m no Hawaii expert. For a comprehensive breakdown of what it’s like to live in Hawaii, consult your favorite Hawaii local.
What I can offer you is the honest perspective of a born-and-raised Californian that lived on Oahu for one year.
No destination is perfect, but that’s the beauty of travel: relishing in the awesomeness of an experience while being humbled by (or amused by) the crappiness of that same experience. One theme that will echo across my letters to you is this:
There’s no such thing as paradise.
In this letter, I break down the good and the bad of Oahu living. If I don’t keep it real for you, who will?
THE GOOD
Winter is not coming
Located in the tropics, Hawaii boasts a year-round, “t-shirt and flip flops” climate. My favorite memory that illustrates this is when your grandpa, mom, and I sipped Mai Tais on a restaurant patio overlooking the ocean in 80°F weather on CHRISTMAS DAY. It was glorious.
Even when it rains, which is does fairly often on certain parts of the island, temperatures are still pleasant. Also, trade winds from the east prevent extreme temperatures. In other words, you won’t find 100°F plus absurdity like in the desert or places closer to the equator. As of 2019, the highest recorded temperature in Hawaii is actually only 100°F.
Aquatic activities are that much more fun in the tropics
Thanks to tropical weather, aquatics are a hell of a lot more enjoyable in Hawaii than most of the U.S.
For example, surfing in California usually involves the painstaking process of squeezing your body into an uncomfortable, smelly wetsuit, getting repeatedly destroyed by ice-cold waves, then getting out of the water feeling miserably cold and having to pry the wetsuit off of your exhausted body.
Surfing in Hawaii involves stripping down to your swimsuit and having a blast shredding waves in warm waters.
There’s a beach for everyone
In the 2010’s, Corona Beer advertisements cheesily preached, “Find Your Beach” (Corona, I’ll take my royalties in cerveza, thanks!). With over 100 beaches across 100+ miles of coastline, you would probably find your beach on Oahu. On the island, there’s a beach where you can:
- Snorkel amidst a crowd of tourists (Hanauma Bay)
- Snorkel alone (Electric Beach)
- Hang loose with turtles (LOST Survivors Beach)
- Chill in a beach cave (Halona Cove)
- Marvel at surfers tackling giant waves (Banzai Pipeline)
- Jump off of a giant rock 30 ft. into the water (Waimea Bay – just don’t tell your mom)
Did I mention that the beaches are gorgeous?
There’s a hike for everyone
The great thing about the many hiking trails in Hawaii is that they vary greatly by length, difficulty, and scenery. On Oahu, there’s a hike where you can:
- Take a leisurely stroll to a swimmable waterfall (Waimea Falls)
- Take an strenuous trek to a diveable waterfall (Maunawili Falls)
- Hang out in a mountainside cave (Upper Makua Cave)
- Receive an ass-kicking through an intense workout up a former railroad track (Koko Crater Trail)
- Elevate so high that you can see multiple sides of the island (Waʻahila Ridge)
- Walk ~4,000 stairs into the sky (Haiku Stairs – just don’t tell your mom)
The views are incredible; I took a bulk of my favorite photos on Oahu hikes!
The Aloha spirit is real
No data can measure a population’s friendliness, but based on my experience, Hawaii locals are more friendly than other populations. Many locals that I interacted with were genuinely warm, helpful, and overall nice people. From my colleagues at work, to cashiers at the shave ice shop, to the loiterers I passed on my daily walk home, I felt the Aloha spirit.
Jerks are everywhere, but the “nice people to jerks” ratio in Hawaii has to be among the highest worldwide.
Were locals that much nicer to me because I look like a local? More than likely, but locals would probably mistake you for being a local too (that is, until you open your mouth with that mainlander accent!).
I could dive into how the Aloha spirit is a part of Hawaiian culture and how the state actually has an Aloha spirit law, but I would just be talking out of my ass, so add that to your list of things to ask your favorite Hawaii local.
Island hopping is affordable
One of the biggest reasons to move to Oahu is, well, to leave Oahu! You might think that visiting another Hawaiian island would be a “same shit, different island” type deal. As cliche as it sounds, each island really is unique and offers distinct vibes and badass experiences.
Here’s a sample of cool stuff that you can do on each of the other Hawaiian islands:
- Maui – Explore a bunch of food stands, hikes, and waterfalls along the Road to Hana
- Hawaii – Visit Volcanoes National Park and see liquid hot magma
- Molokai – Ride a mule down an oceanside cliff to the solemn but scenic leprosy colony
- Lanai – Hang out with the Lanai lions aka 600+ gatos at the Cat Sanctuary
- Kauai – Cruise along the Na Pali Coast (the coast in Jurassic Park 3 that the father got way too close to)
As of 2019, the ballpark cost of a roundtrip flight from Honolulu to the other Hawaiian islands is $100 – $200. If exploring the Hawaiian islands is high on your bucket list, move to Oahu and make it happen!
Other good things
- Hawaiian food is bomb – Though not exactly the healthiest cuisine (hello, processed meat served with a minimal portion of veggies!), many Hawaiian dishes, like Kalua pork, poke, and my favorite sweet treat in Hawaii, poi donuts (shoutout to my coworkers for revealing this gem of a treat to me!) are just too good to grow tired of.
- Waikiki is the epitome of vacation – Waikiki is brimming with shops, oceanfront hotels and restaurants, and beaches packed with sunburnt visitors. Even though it’s very touristy, I actually enjoy Waikiki because I feel like I’m on vacation there! Speaking of vacation vibes, shoutout to Disney’s Aulani Resort because your Opa is excited to pass his love of all-things-Disney onto you!
- Aloha shirts are commonplace – I love that Aloha shirts are widely accepted as workplace attire in Hawaii. In my humble opinion, Aloha shirts are more comfortable and cooler-looking than the typical stale, mainland dress shirt.
- Music in Hawaii is chill – Whether it be the strums of the ukulele in native Hawaiian music or the chill vibes of local pop music, tunes in Hawaii provide the perfect soundtrack for cruising around the island chasing sunrises and slamming plate lunches. I would be remiss to omit a shoutout to Common Kings! While not from Hawaii, I wouldn’t have discovered their feel-good, catchy music had it not been for Hawaiian radio stations.
- LOST filming locations – LOST, the television show that I’m most looking forward to watching with you, was filmed on Oahu! Whenever I visited LOST filming locations, the fanboy in me emerged as I excitedly exclaimed, “This is where [character name] did [iconic action] in episode [name of episode]!!”. If you move to Oahu, my only request is that you wait until after we binge watch LOST together!
THE BAD
Cost of living is expensive as hell
As of 2019, Hawaii is the least affordable state in the U.S. (per U.S. News), and Honolulu’s cost of living is only 4% lower than that of San Francisco (per NerdWallet). If you move to Oahu, you’ll spend significantly more on living expenses compared to most of America. For example, I regularly spent ~$100 on groceries in Honolulu that would cost ~$60 at most stores in California! To live comfortably on Oahu: land a high-paying job, already have money to blow, or become a gold digger. You’re welcome, kid – I simultaneously gave you actionable advice and a taste of 2000’s hip-hop music in the same sentence!
Landing a high-paying job is challenging
As of 2019, much of Hawaii’s workforce is made up of low-paying jobs in the service / tourism sector. There are decent-paying jobs across the healthcare, education, and technology industries, but as a mainlander yourself, you’ll have to overcome an “it’s all about who you know” hiring mindset that’s even more pronounced than it is on the mainland. Also, many employers in Hawaii prefer to hire candidates with family ties to the island. This hiring strategy decreases the risk of a candidate picking up and leaving soon after being hired. Luckily, you do have family on Oahu [as of 2019 at least] and your great-grand Lola was born in Honolulu, so if you do move to Oahu, milk the crap out of these points during your job interviews!
Drivers have sloth-like tendencies
Traffic is a pain all over the world, but my issue with driving on Oahu isn’t the traffic. My issue with driving on Oahu is what transpires when there isn’t traffic.
As of 2019, Hawaii has the lowest maximum speed limit in the United States. Hawaii’s highway speed limits are 10 to 20 mph lower than those in California. Some of Oahu’s highways even have minimum speed limits. You know that there are egregiously slow drivers out there when you have to enact a minimum speed limit.
I get it – Slower driving leads to safer roads. That didn’t stop me from becoming a disgruntled driver! During weekends on Oahu, I often found myself zooming along the highways, furiously passing people like Dominic Toretto. I was driving like a Californian on Hawaiian roads.
If you become a Johnny Tran clone with anger issues and a need for speed, don’t move to Oahu!
It ain’t cheap to escape the islands
It’s all sunshine and rainbows during the first few months of living in Hawaii, when your list of beaches and hikes to explore seems endless and weather forecasts from elsewhere in the world constantly validate your living situation. Once your island to-do list dwindles and you grow tired of sweating your ass off, Hawaiian living loses its luster.
Maui Goodness defines “Island Fever” as the “phenomena of feeling claustrophobic from the close proximity of each shoreline, and feeling disconnected from the outside world.”
I didn’t catch island fever, but if I did, it would’ve been because of the cost to leave Hawaii. As of 2019, a roundtrip flight from Hawaii to California costs about $400 – $600. If your financial situation is dire, don’t move to Oahu; you could literally find yourself stuck in Hawaii!
Other bad things
- Downtown Honolulu leaves much to be desired – If cockroaches, homeless people, urine and feces on the sidewalks, and lackluster tourist attractions are your idea of a good time, then downtown Honolulu is the place for you! Okay, that’s a bit harsh, but the elements above are at least part of the reason why no one comes home from Hawaii saying, “I had a blast in downtown Honolulu!”
- Nightlife options are limited – If your ideal night consists of chugging 40’s while playing World of Warcraft, you can skip this bullet. If, however, you thirst for a wild, concentrated, Las Vegas-like “rage until the break of dawn” nightlife scene, you probably shouldn’t move to Oahu! Waikiki features a few posh but expensive clubs and lounges, and the gentrification of Chinatown has produced a burgeoning bar scene. Other than that, your nightlife options would be limited to drinking establishments scattered across the island.
- Island shipping is expensive and slow – On Oahu, you’ll pay a premium and wait longer for shipping to-and-from the island. While same-day delivery will probably be the norm for much of the mainland by the time that you read this (gracias, Jeff Bezos!), the same cannot be said for Hawaii. Same-day delivery might make it to Hawaii in your lifetime (supersonic drones traversing the Pacific ocean?), but I wouldn’t count on it.
- Air conditioning overcompensation is no joke – To combat the heat, some buildings in Hawaii crank up the air conditioning to excessive levels. For example, my workplace office ran the air conditioning so high that it felt like a North Pole simulation. My morning work routine consisted of walking 20 minutes through the humid streets of Honolulu, heading straight to the bathroom to wipe the sweat off of my face, cooling down for an hour in my freezer of a cubicle, then putting on a fleece to persevere through the rest of the frigid workday. The [air conditioning overcompensation] struggle is real!
THE BOTTOM LINE
I had a blast living in Hawaii. Oahu offers the perks of living on a tropical island and the infrastructure and amenities of America. Hawaii’s “nice people to jerks” ratio is through the roof, and Oahu is the ideal home base for exploring the rest of the Hawaiian islands.
Island living isn’t for everyone though, especially in Hawaii where the job market can’t keep up with the sky-high cost of living. Driving on Oahu can be especially frustrating for a mainlander, and it ain’t cheap to leave the state.
Someday, you may fall in love with Oahu’s beaches, weather, or even one of its [preferably upstanding] citizens. If that day comes, I hope that this letter helps you decide whether to move to Oahu.
Love,
Dad
P.S.
Fun fact – I worked on this letter while you were in your mom’s womb, while at the hospital for your birth, and while at home during my paternity leave. As I write this, your mom is lovingly holding you, and you look like a disheveled little Chinese man.